John left yesterday. He called the kids on Tuesday night before he went to the airport and talked to each one of them. Sarah was the most out of it and about a minute into the conversation with sleepy eyes, she asked Daddy if he wanted to talk to Mommy and without even waiting for the answer handed me the phone and laid down on her pillow and was out again.
The next time I heard from him was at about 7:30AM on Wednesday during a layover in Maine. max was excited to hear where Dad was, especially since he knew where it was on the map. From there John was on his way to Germany. I received a text message around 9:30 that said "bye bye US" and then I received another call at about 4:30 in the afternoon from Germany. I have never gotten an international call, so when the number showed up on my phone, it was unrecognizable. Germany is 7 hours ahead of us so it was already bedtime for everyone where he was. He was trying to catch cat naps as much as possible on the plane, but it still is tough, so he sounded quite tired from the day full of airports and small seats on a plane.
John had another two hour layover in Germany before heading to his final destination, at least for a couple of weeks. He will be in Kahzakstan (finally figured out how to spell it) for about two weeks for aclimation and training, from there he will move into Afghanistan for the rest of his tour of duty.
It is so different this time around, I am overall more calm about him being over there for some reason. We have been through this before and I am ready to take on the next year. I probably won't be talking to him for days at a time now. I will be turning off his cell phone today and will rely on the phone provided by the military and the infamous SKYPE.
I miss you and love you, stay safe and come home soon!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
IRRITATION
Today was like any other work day. I started the day at 4:30AM with a cup of coffee, a shower, packing lunches, getting meds together, catching 5 minutes of the news, waking the kids, getting them dressed, packing backpacks, combing hair, putting on shoes, heading to the car, driving to daycare, unloading the car, signing in the kids and finally hitting the road for the 45 minute drive to my office. And to think, all of this was done by 6:30AM!
By 7:30 I was logged into my laptop and ready for the day. That was when the irritability started and I just could not kick it for the entire day.
The hardest part of my job is not being able to take the "mommy suit" off and still having to clean up, fix, etc after my co-workers. There are so many times that I have cleaned up coffee cups half full left behind, spilled water dripped from the water cooler, paper and brochure plastic wrap left on the ground and the cream of the crop - unjamming the copier several times a day.
I don't get why there are some of us who can break something and do nothing to attempt to fix or even state that it is broken and ask for assistance. It is not until I need to get something done and then I have to stop everything that I am doing to fix something that I was not involved in. I have always been told that I am a yes person and that I just do and you know, I take full responsibility for being that way.
I just wish others could be the same way, I parent three children at home and to know that day after day there are people I work with that have no consideration for those around you is very frustrating.
I could just be overly sensitive today since I know there are only 24 hours left until John actually leaves the US and heads to Afghanistan. The nightly calls are limited, very limited. I will get one more call tomorrow and then that is it until he is set up where he will be. I wonder if I have spent enough time with him, said enough words to him, listened to him to cover the time until I will talk with him again.
Life is too short for me to waste energy on irritation - my one and only goal over the next 12 months is to take life one day at time, prioritize my children into first place and make as many memories as I can. My days will be filled with "mommy" moments - it is who I am, I just do what needs to get done - that is how I get through all of the trials and tribulations of the life that surrounds me. It is called the Khaotic Karline household and I wouldn't know what to do if it was anything else - so no more irritation!
By 7:30 I was logged into my laptop and ready for the day. That was when the irritability started and I just could not kick it for the entire day.
The hardest part of my job is not being able to take the "mommy suit" off and still having to clean up, fix, etc after my co-workers. There are so many times that I have cleaned up coffee cups half full left behind, spilled water dripped from the water cooler, paper and brochure plastic wrap left on the ground and the cream of the crop - unjamming the copier several times a day.
I don't get why there are some of us who can break something and do nothing to attempt to fix or even state that it is broken and ask for assistance. It is not until I need to get something done and then I have to stop everything that I am doing to fix something that I was not involved in. I have always been told that I am a yes person and that I just do and you know, I take full responsibility for being that way.
I just wish others could be the same way, I parent three children at home and to know that day after day there are people I work with that have no consideration for those around you is very frustrating.
I could just be overly sensitive today since I know there are only 24 hours left until John actually leaves the US and heads to Afghanistan. The nightly calls are limited, very limited. I will get one more call tomorrow and then that is it until he is set up where he will be. I wonder if I have spent enough time with him, said enough words to him, listened to him to cover the time until I will talk with him again.
Life is too short for me to waste energy on irritation - my one and only goal over the next 12 months is to take life one day at time, prioritize my children into first place and make as many memories as I can. My days will be filled with "mommy" moments - it is who I am, I just do what needs to get done - that is how I get through all of the trials and tribulations of the life that surrounds me. It is called the Khaotic Karline household and I wouldn't know what to do if it was anything else - so no more irritation!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
SURPRISE
Wow, it has been a week! As you all know, John was coming into town, but our knowledge of his arrival was limited. I kept crossing my fingers for the earlier the better, but as the minutes ticked by, my disappointment became more evident. I joked with co-workers that I would have to shave my legs in the morning in case he arrived during the work day and then shave again before I went to bed in case he slithered in during the wee hours of the night.
By Tuesday night, I was exhausted from watching the clock and the door, so I went to bed as usual but paused in front of our garage door and wondered if he would be coming soon. I shrugged my shoulders because I knew he had no keys to get in so he would have to come while I was awake, but I still wondered if I should unlock the door. I decided against it and went to bed. About 2 hours later at 1:30AM, the dogs were barking and the garage door was opening. A few moments later, I heard John's voice telling the dogs to be quiet. I jumped out of bed to open the door in my very comatose state and turned right around and crawled back in. Boy, I am sure it was not the welcome home he was expecting. As his voice penetrated my slumber and I became more aware of my surroundings, I realized it was him and awoke. As I did, I realized, I could have let a stranger into my home! LOL
Wednesday started off by surprising the kids with a wake up from Daddy and from there on we were literally off to the races. We spent the day together, we had lunch with John's parents and then picked up the kids and decided to rent a movie and eat pizza picnic style in our movie theatre.
Thursday was spent shopping for last minute things for John and then picking the kids up early again from day care. We spent the evening BBQ'ing and just having a family meal.
Friday was date night and John and I decided to go downtown for the night. We went to Hell's Kitchen for a drink, went to McCormicks and Schmick's for another drink and appetizer during Happy Hour, walked up and down Nicollet Mall and then eventually ended up at the restaurant we had reservations at. The Melting Pot is our favorite restaurant, we ate until we were about to explode and just talked into the night. The Melting Pot honors the military and offers a discount to its armed forces patrons, it was great to be able to spend the night talking and enjoying a wonderful meal.
We got home late and went straight to bed knowing John had to be on the road quite early the following morning. We woke the kids pretty early and got out of the house for a quick breakfast. By 7:30 in the morning John was on his way back to Indiana. He will be on his way out of the country by Tuesday.
It was a short visit, but we spent a ton of time together and the kids got their wrestling time in with Daddy, so it was definitely well spent in the eyes of the kids.
This was a great Surprise!
By Tuesday night, I was exhausted from watching the clock and the door, so I went to bed as usual but paused in front of our garage door and wondered if he would be coming soon. I shrugged my shoulders because I knew he had no keys to get in so he would have to come while I was awake, but I still wondered if I should unlock the door. I decided against it and went to bed. About 2 hours later at 1:30AM, the dogs were barking and the garage door was opening. A few moments later, I heard John's voice telling the dogs to be quiet. I jumped out of bed to open the door in my very comatose state and turned right around and crawled back in. Boy, I am sure it was not the welcome home he was expecting. As his voice penetrated my slumber and I became more aware of my surroundings, I realized it was him and awoke. As I did, I realized, I could have let a stranger into my home! LOL
Wednesday started off by surprising the kids with a wake up from Daddy and from there on we were literally off to the races. We spent the day together, we had lunch with John's parents and then picked up the kids and decided to rent a movie and eat pizza picnic style in our movie theatre.
Thursday was spent shopping for last minute things for John and then picking the kids up early again from day care. We spent the evening BBQ'ing and just having a family meal.
Friday was date night and John and I decided to go downtown for the night. We went to Hell's Kitchen for a drink, went to McCormicks and Schmick's for another drink and appetizer during Happy Hour, walked up and down Nicollet Mall and then eventually ended up at the restaurant we had reservations at. The Melting Pot is our favorite restaurant, we ate until we were about to explode and just talked into the night. The Melting Pot honors the military and offers a discount to its armed forces patrons, it was great to be able to spend the night talking and enjoying a wonderful meal.
We got home late and went straight to bed knowing John had to be on the road quite early the following morning. We woke the kids pretty early and got out of the house for a quick breakfast. By 7:30 in the morning John was on his way back to Indiana. He will be on his way out of the country by Tuesday.
It was a short visit, but we spent a ton of time together and the kids got their wrestling time in with Daddy, so it was definitely well spent in the eyes of the kids.
This was a great Surprise!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
CLEANING HOUSE
Today I decided to actually be domesticated and take on the cleaning of the house. You see, I have been spoiled for the last few years, John always did the cleaning. He was off on Fridays so it made it easy for him to clean the house while the kids were at school. I would periodically help out on the weekends when we really wanted to scour, but other than that, I never really had to worry about it. . . .until now.
John is coming home sometime in the next 48 - 72 hours and I really don't want him walking into a house that is messy or dirty. I want him to know I can handle the simple things while he is gone and that I won't get stressed out over the small stuff.
It makes it easier when you have a son that is more than helpful, even though I caught him on several occassions trying to hide a sigh, he still obeyed my command and did what needed to be done. They have no idea that John is heading this way and I am glad for that. Sarah did ask if Daddy was coming home this week and Max asked if we would be able to call and talk to Daddy tomorrow, so it definitely is starting to hit them that he is gone for a longer than usual timeframe.
As for the cleaning, I will say, not very loudly though, that it was very relaxing to clean. From the vaccuuming and the back and forth motion to the circular motion of the scrubbing bubbles in the bathrooms, I was really not bothered by the raisin like fingertips and the smell of bleach (no matter how much lemon scent is used to mask it).
The kids and I vowed to take 10 minutes every night before going to bed and scanning the house for anything that might be out of place, that way, we won't have to clean so hard on the weekends. How many days do you think this logic will last? Probably the week and then we will be back to our chaos and will clean the tornado track every month.
I did realize though, I have a lot of stuff that has been in our home but never used or forgotten about. I have been thinking about having a garage sale and I think after this weekend, it is more than a thought. Even though I think I am just setting myself up for more cleaning, just so I can get rid of stuff.
I hope John comes home and can relax before the real game starts. We get 72 - 96 short hours with him and I can't wait for him to see that the house has not fallen apart, the kids are still alive (maybe barely) and I am still breathing (with the help of a great glass of Riesling).
It sure is amazing what a clean house can do to your stress level and really calm a person down! WHO KNEW!?
John is coming home sometime in the next 48 - 72 hours and I really don't want him walking into a house that is messy or dirty. I want him to know I can handle the simple things while he is gone and that I won't get stressed out over the small stuff.
It makes it easier when you have a son that is more than helpful, even though I caught him on several occassions trying to hide a sigh, he still obeyed my command and did what needed to be done. They have no idea that John is heading this way and I am glad for that. Sarah did ask if Daddy was coming home this week and Max asked if we would be able to call and talk to Daddy tomorrow, so it definitely is starting to hit them that he is gone for a longer than usual timeframe.
As for the cleaning, I will say, not very loudly though, that it was very relaxing to clean. From the vaccuuming and the back and forth motion to the circular motion of the scrubbing bubbles in the bathrooms, I was really not bothered by the raisin like fingertips and the smell of bleach (no matter how much lemon scent is used to mask it).
The kids and I vowed to take 10 minutes every night before going to bed and scanning the house for anything that might be out of place, that way, we won't have to clean so hard on the weekends. How many days do you think this logic will last? Probably the week and then we will be back to our chaos and will clean the tornado track every month.
I did realize though, I have a lot of stuff that has been in our home but never used or forgotten about. I have been thinking about having a garage sale and I think after this weekend, it is more than a thought. Even though I think I am just setting myself up for more cleaning, just so I can get rid of stuff.
I hope John comes home and can relax before the real game starts. We get 72 - 96 short hours with him and I can't wait for him to see that the house has not fallen apart, the kids are still alive (maybe barely) and I am still breathing (with the help of a great glass of Riesling).
It sure is amazing what a clean house can do to your stress level and really calm a person down! WHO KNEW!?
Friday, July 17, 2009
A MESSAGE TO THE GIRLZ
You may not know, but several years ago, my husband and I had a vision to bring comfort to children and their families while staying in the hospital. After spending our own amount of time in one with our first child, Chloe, we learned the importance of support from outside, whether it be from people we know or not at all, it was a great feeling knowing we were not alone. After Chloe's death, we decided to start a foundation called The Chloe T. Foundation, 'giving hugs with lots of love'. We donate stuffed animals to children who are hospitalized during the different holiday seasons. We have donated over 26,000 stuffed animals since 2000 and still going strong.
Through the past 8 years, we have grown to an organization that has its support, but is still lacking in something. We have loved and nurtured this foundation as much as we can and must depend now on outsiders to help us get to the next level.
We have an event coming up on August 8 at Wolfe Park in St. Louis Park and we are depending on two women who have so much passion and drive for what they do that it is overwhelming at times. Over the past two months, a vision of what my husband and I wanted to bring to the families in our community is coming together and it is a scary thing to not be a part of the planning, only being asked to be a guest and enjoy with my other children. It is especially hard when John is not here and I want to make sure the vision that was ultimately his to begin with continues on while he is not here. An event he has talked about for over five years is about to come to fruition and he is not even going to be here to enjoy it. It is very difficult right now as I am both excited yet nervous.
The event is one that will host families to come out and enjoy a day of making memories, Chloe's Carnival, has attempted many a time to come alive and many a time has died after the brainstorm session. I am so excited to be able to invite friends and family to this event and share in a day that reminds me so much of the last "memory maker" we had with Chloe. It is so important for families to make memories and enjoy life outside of the routine.
I look forward to what the event will bring, carnival games, face painting, laughter, eating too much, and finally listening to great music by Tim Mahoney at the end of the night.
I hope the women who came to us with all that passion know how much this means to me and trust that they understand the real foundation of where The Chloe T. Foundation truly stands on, the memory of Chloe, the root of my passion.
GIRLZ, I truly thank you!
Through the past 8 years, we have grown to an organization that has its support, but is still lacking in something. We have loved and nurtured this foundation as much as we can and must depend now on outsiders to help us get to the next level.
We have an event coming up on August 8 at Wolfe Park in St. Louis Park and we are depending on two women who have so much passion and drive for what they do that it is overwhelming at times. Over the past two months, a vision of what my husband and I wanted to bring to the families in our community is coming together and it is a scary thing to not be a part of the planning, only being asked to be a guest and enjoy with my other children. It is especially hard when John is not here and I want to make sure the vision that was ultimately his to begin with continues on while he is not here. An event he has talked about for over five years is about to come to fruition and he is not even going to be here to enjoy it. It is very difficult right now as I am both excited yet nervous.
The event is one that will host families to come out and enjoy a day of making memories, Chloe's Carnival, has attempted many a time to come alive and many a time has died after the brainstorm session. I am so excited to be able to invite friends and family to this event and share in a day that reminds me so much of the last "memory maker" we had with Chloe. It is so important for families to make memories and enjoy life outside of the routine.
I look forward to what the event will bring, carnival games, face painting, laughter, eating too much, and finally listening to great music by Tim Mahoney at the end of the night.
I hope the women who came to us with all that passion know how much this means to me and trust that they understand the real foundation of where The Chloe T. Foundation truly stands on, the memory of Chloe, the root of my passion.
GIRLZ, I truly thank you!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
UPCOMING SURPRISE VISIT
I found out a few days ago that John has made the decision to come home for his last pass before heading overseas. I had been planning to drive down to Indiana on my own and leave the kids with family, but John stated this - "I miss my kids", so he is coming home.
From what I hear, he has actually been planning it for awhile. He had called my boss to let him know about his plan and make sure it was okay for me to take a few days off. It is funny how you find out that your hubby is actually listening to you. The end of the month is a very busy time in the mortgage business, so for him to be conscience about it and make sure that any stresses I might have at the office will be taken care of so I can have fun with my family is so awesome.
John is giving me no details, I know he has no car with him and no money has left the checkbook for an airline ticket, so I have no idea how he is getting to Minnesota. Then once he is here, I have been told that I don't have to worry about picking him up. He won't even tell me when he is arriving, just that it is next week.
His only requests - keep the kids in day care so their routine is not interrupted and I am to take Thursday and Friday off!
I am so excited to see him, yet anxious and nervous at the same time. The past month has been very difficult for me and I don't want to have to start the clock all over again. I was told by my best friend not to think that way and to know that I have already done the hardest part and the rest is going to be easy. I know I just need to take a deep breath, enjoy every moment I get to spend with John and as a family.
So since I have no idea what day he is coming and only know from the FRG meeting I attended on Tuesday that he must report back to Camp Atterbury on July 25 by 10PM, how do I make plans? Do I try and cram everything in to those few days or just let John be in the driver's seat? If anyone knows me, they know the latter is going to be the hardest thing, I am the kind of person that has to have a plan and everything well orchestrated. This might actually be fun to have John planning everything and I just get to go along for the ride.
I haven't told the kids yet, they don't get to talk to Daddy very often because the only time he is able to call is late at night. This morning they spoke with him and I could tell Max really needed it, he even found the web cam that I was given as a gift and is excited to know that will help get to see Dad over the next year. I can't wait to see their faces when Daddy comes around the corner.
More details to follow about our upcoming surprise visit!
From what I hear, he has actually been planning it for awhile. He had called my boss to let him know about his plan and make sure it was okay for me to take a few days off. It is funny how you find out that your hubby is actually listening to you. The end of the month is a very busy time in the mortgage business, so for him to be conscience about it and make sure that any stresses I might have at the office will be taken care of so I can have fun with my family is so awesome.
John is giving me no details, I know he has no car with him and no money has left the checkbook for an airline ticket, so I have no idea how he is getting to Minnesota. Then once he is here, I have been told that I don't have to worry about picking him up. He won't even tell me when he is arriving, just that it is next week.
His only requests - keep the kids in day care so their routine is not interrupted and I am to take Thursday and Friday off!
I am so excited to see him, yet anxious and nervous at the same time. The past month has been very difficult for me and I don't want to have to start the clock all over again. I was told by my best friend not to think that way and to know that I have already done the hardest part and the rest is going to be easy. I know I just need to take a deep breath, enjoy every moment I get to spend with John and as a family.
So since I have no idea what day he is coming and only know from the FRG meeting I attended on Tuesday that he must report back to Camp Atterbury on July 25 by 10PM, how do I make plans? Do I try and cram everything in to those few days or just let John be in the driver's seat? If anyone knows me, they know the latter is going to be the hardest thing, I am the kind of person that has to have a plan and everything well orchestrated. This might actually be fun to have John planning everything and I just get to go along for the ride.
I haven't told the kids yet, they don't get to talk to Daddy very often because the only time he is able to call is late at night. This morning they spoke with him and I could tell Max really needed it, he even found the web cam that I was given as a gift and is excited to know that will help get to see Dad over the next year. I can't wait to see their faces when Daddy comes around the corner.
More details to follow about our upcoming surprise visit!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
MY FIRST WORK IN PROGRESS
So, I started my "John is gone, let's find projects" again. This time, I don't think I am going to go as far as I did last time when I remodeled our entire kitchen from floor to ceiling - literally! I started small - LANDSCAPING! OK, so it wasn't as small as I thought it would be.
It all started when I picked up Max from his sleepover, we were already in the car and so what the heck, let's head to Minnesota Valley. So off we went, down 169 and pulled right in. I found the exact shrubs I wanted and started destroying their display trying to find the perfect trio of shrubs. It didn't take long before the expert showed up and assisted me in finding the rest of my perfect landscaping vision.
I chose three Dogwoods, 5 Baja Day Lilys and a second shrub thing for the end of the house. Did I mention I am not an outside kind of person and had no clue what I was getting into nor did I know how to design it once I had everything? So you can only imagine my surprise when I found out there was a choice in color for the Day Lilys I love so much, I have only seen yellow in the neighborhood, so my mind was ready for that color. But wait, here comes the list - there are several color choices and all of a sudden I was the expert, ready to make a very smart decision about what I wanted for my yard. So Baja was the color, Red with a Green throat and yes I had to ask what that meant. I am sure I will be talked about at the next staff meeting.
We headed home and by the time they were unloaded from my trunk, that was the next thing I was amazed with, they fit everything into my trunk! I had the bug and wanted to dig right in and get these plants in.
I had the three Dogwoods in the ground and my neighbor Meg stopped by. We chatted for awhile and headed to the backyard to find the kids and I was embarassed when her eyes landed on my "garden", I use this term very, very loosely, ask Meg! My tomato plants, green beans and a few surprise pumpkin vines were somewhere underneath some weeds. I had to confirm with Meg if indeed they were weeds because the trunks of them looked like small trees. She offered to come over and pull and as we continued to talk, we were entered the rough terrain of the Amazon jungle of the Karline house and came out the other end with two tomato plants, one green bean plant and four pumpkin vines. I think Meg was thoroughly entertained by the, "is this a weed" and her response "no, that's a tomato plant". Thanks Meg for not making me feel too ditzy!
I called it a day after that, my face couldn't get more red and I was hot! Sunday was another day and I got three more plants into the ground when I realized that I had about 12 inches of rock that I would need to dig out before I would even find dirt for my fourth shrub at the end of my home. I guess I found where the leftover rock went that my hubby used up. After and hour of digging and finding a new home for the rock, I hit dirt and realized the shrub was now so low in the retaining wall I would need to build it up versus dig a hole, so I was now on a mission to find some soil. God send, there it was in the hubby's side of the garage, a brand new bag. I dug a small hole for the shrub and then put the soil in. Done!
It is such a good feeling, don't know how, my legs hurt from crounching, there are muscles in my back side that hurt so much my son laughs at me when I am walking, and my back is so stiff I think I am permanently attached to a wood plank. But I know the first time I pull into my driveway and see my hardwork, it will be a great feeling. Now I only have two more plants to go, it is still a work in progress right now.
It all started when I picked up Max from his sleepover, we were already in the car and so what the heck, let's head to Minnesota Valley. So off we went, down 169 and pulled right in. I found the exact shrubs I wanted and started destroying their display trying to find the perfect trio of shrubs. It didn't take long before the expert showed up and assisted me in finding the rest of my perfect landscaping vision.
I chose three Dogwoods, 5 Baja Day Lilys and a second shrub thing for the end of the house. Did I mention I am not an outside kind of person and had no clue what I was getting into nor did I know how to design it once I had everything? So you can only imagine my surprise when I found out there was a choice in color for the Day Lilys I love so much, I have only seen yellow in the neighborhood, so my mind was ready for that color. But wait, here comes the list - there are several color choices and all of a sudden I was the expert, ready to make a very smart decision about what I wanted for my yard. So Baja was the color, Red with a Green throat and yes I had to ask what that meant. I am sure I will be talked about at the next staff meeting.
We headed home and by the time they were unloaded from my trunk, that was the next thing I was amazed with, they fit everything into my trunk! I had the bug and wanted to dig right in and get these plants in.
I had the three Dogwoods in the ground and my neighbor Meg stopped by. We chatted for awhile and headed to the backyard to find the kids and I was embarassed when her eyes landed on my "garden", I use this term very, very loosely, ask Meg! My tomato plants, green beans and a few surprise pumpkin vines were somewhere underneath some weeds. I had to confirm with Meg if indeed they were weeds because the trunks of them looked like small trees. She offered to come over and pull and as we continued to talk, we were entered the rough terrain of the Amazon jungle of the Karline house and came out the other end with two tomato plants, one green bean plant and four pumpkin vines. I think Meg was thoroughly entertained by the, "is this a weed" and her response "no, that's a tomato plant". Thanks Meg for not making me feel too ditzy!
I called it a day after that, my face couldn't get more red and I was hot! Sunday was another day and I got three more plants into the ground when I realized that I had about 12 inches of rock that I would need to dig out before I would even find dirt for my fourth shrub at the end of my home. I guess I found where the leftover rock went that my hubby used up. After and hour of digging and finding a new home for the rock, I hit dirt and realized the shrub was now so low in the retaining wall I would need to build it up versus dig a hole, so I was now on a mission to find some soil. God send, there it was in the hubby's side of the garage, a brand new bag. I dug a small hole for the shrub and then put the soil in. Done!
It is such a good feeling, don't know how, my legs hurt from crounching, there are muscles in my back side that hurt so much my son laughs at me when I am walking, and my back is so stiff I think I am permanently attached to a wood plank. But I know the first time I pull into my driveway and see my hardwork, it will be a great feeling. Now I only have two more plants to go, it is still a work in progress right now.
Friday, July 10, 2009
MAN OF THE HOUSE
How many times over the years have you looked at your children and wondered how they ever got so big? What a cliche? I find myself doing this so much more these days and there is definitely a reason for me to be.
My son Max is a god send, I have said it from day one that his purpose in life was to be my guardian angel here on earth. To give you some background, I was six months pregnant with him when John and I lost our first child, Chloe. Being pregnant with Max was a gift - I had to get sleep, I had to eat, I had to stay healthy - no time to knock on the door of depression. Max and I have a bond that is very hard to describe, but is felt very deeply.
Over the last month I have watched him transform from a typical 8 year old to a young man who just steps up to the plate and does what needs to get done. The things that have to be done in the house are not the most fun, but I have yet to hear a complaint from him.
With a younger brother diagnosed with Asperger's, who at a moment's notice (most of the time none at all) will go from being completely happy to screaming at the top of his lungs demanding the smallest of things and Max just stops what he is doing and answers his demands. My patience is tested everyday and it is like Max just knows that if one more scream is heard, it might just push me over the edge.
To stand back and watch as he takes charge and silently corrects the situation is both a heart swelling moment, but also a heart sinking one as well. I don't want my 8 year old to have to this strong boy that carries the burdens of what he believes he must. I want him to be the kid that is going to negotiate for things, challenge my discipline and be mischievious. I know deep in my heart he is doing what his Daddy told him to do and that was to take care of Mommy and he is making his Dad very proud.
He has definitely stepped into the big shoes left behind and is truly the Man of the House now!
My son Max is a god send, I have said it from day one that his purpose in life was to be my guardian angel here on earth. To give you some background, I was six months pregnant with him when John and I lost our first child, Chloe. Being pregnant with Max was a gift - I had to get sleep, I had to eat, I had to stay healthy - no time to knock on the door of depression. Max and I have a bond that is very hard to describe, but is felt very deeply.
Over the last month I have watched him transform from a typical 8 year old to a young man who just steps up to the plate and does what needs to get done. The things that have to be done in the house are not the most fun, but I have yet to hear a complaint from him.
With a younger brother diagnosed with Asperger's, who at a moment's notice (most of the time none at all) will go from being completely happy to screaming at the top of his lungs demanding the smallest of things and Max just stops what he is doing and answers his demands. My patience is tested everyday and it is like Max just knows that if one more scream is heard, it might just push me over the edge.
To stand back and watch as he takes charge and silently corrects the situation is both a heart swelling moment, but also a heart sinking one as well. I don't want my 8 year old to have to this strong boy that carries the burdens of what he believes he must. I want him to be the kid that is going to negotiate for things, challenge my discipline and be mischievious. I know deep in my heart he is doing what his Daddy told him to do and that was to take care of Mommy and he is making his Dad very proud.
He has definitely stepped into the big shoes left behind and is truly the Man of the House now!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
GIRL NIGHT OUT
I thought it would be fun to rent a chick flick, I am without a husband ya know! I put the kids to bed and giggled as I grabbed a bottle of Chardonney, a glass, a bag of chocolate truffles, the movie and my cell phone. I was ready for a no thinking, just watching movie that I could get lost in and have no worries of the world around me.
So there I was, sipping my glass of wine, savoring chocolate, all the while my yorkie was laying in my lap - are you kidding me? What is going on?
The hilarity of sitting there as a female with all the cliches was almost depressing yet relaxing all at the same time. How many chick flicks will I be able to watch over the next year without having to beg John into watching them with me? Actually how many times has he ever complained about snuggling up with me to watch a romance movie or at least a romantic comedy? NEVER!
It hit me in the last 20 minutes of the movie that I would not be with John for a year - a year! It flooded over me so powerfully that I lost my breath and my vision blurred. What am I going to do? I am going to stand up straight, put on a smile and deal with every hand that is dealt. I have friends that surround me and family that stands behind me so that the road before me should be smooth with very few bumps.
The cliche of a chick flick is evident - the dream of perfection in life and romance - why do we, as females, crave this so much? Especially when the majority of the time - it is within our grasps and we don't even know it. The good thing, for me, I know it, I am the luckiest woman - I have a man that is caring, strong, loving, nuturing and funny - all the qualities you find in the leading man of every chick flick.
Here is to a girl night out!
So there I was, sipping my glass of wine, savoring chocolate, all the while my yorkie was laying in my lap - are you kidding me? What is going on?
The hilarity of sitting there as a female with all the cliches was almost depressing yet relaxing all at the same time. How many chick flicks will I be able to watch over the next year without having to beg John into watching them with me? Actually how many times has he ever complained about snuggling up with me to watch a romance movie or at least a romantic comedy? NEVER!
It hit me in the last 20 minutes of the movie that I would not be with John for a year - a year! It flooded over me so powerfully that I lost my breath and my vision blurred. What am I going to do? I am going to stand up straight, put on a smile and deal with every hand that is dealt. I have friends that surround me and family that stands behind me so that the road before me should be smooth with very few bumps.
The cliche of a chick flick is evident - the dream of perfection in life and romance - why do we, as females, crave this so much? Especially when the majority of the time - it is within our grasps and we don't even know it. The good thing, for me, I know it, I am the luckiest woman - I have a man that is caring, strong, loving, nuturing and funny - all the qualities you find in the leading man of every chick flick.
Here is to a girl night out!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
TIME FLYS WHEN IT IS STOLEN
Can you believe it is July already? I walked into Target yesterday and I could not believe my eyes - PREP 4 LESS hung from the ceiling in the back of the store. As I got closer, there it was, summer is over - school supplies everywhere! When did we lose another month of summer? When I was in high school and working in retail Back to School started the first week of August, now it is July! Sure does make you take a step back and make sure you are spending every moment as you should.
The only good thing I can see about this whole thing is that it is keeping my mind busy and working a couple of months in advance. The time should fly if it keeps this up.
I flipped the calendar today and marked for the first time in 6 years the individual day count - we are at 18 days into a 365 day journey - break it down even further and we are 5% done! Not bad. The kids are keeping me busy and I am trying so hard to stay relaxed with them as they challenge me everyday.
I can't believe that in two months all three kids will be in school and the time is really going to fly and then I have been told that I will want to slow it down again. I just hope that amongst all this stress that I can still find the deep breath needed to enjoy my children and the memories we are making together. I just wish time wouldn't be stolen from me in the form of merchandising!
The only good thing I can see about this whole thing is that it is keeping my mind busy and working a couple of months in advance. The time should fly if it keeps this up.
I flipped the calendar today and marked for the first time in 6 years the individual day count - we are at 18 days into a 365 day journey - break it down even further and we are 5% done! Not bad. The kids are keeping me busy and I am trying so hard to stay relaxed with them as they challenge me everyday.
I can't believe that in two months all three kids will be in school and the time is really going to fly and then I have been told that I will want to slow it down again. I just hope that amongst all this stress that I can still find the deep breath needed to enjoy my children and the memories we are making together. I just wish time wouldn't be stolen from me in the form of merchandising!
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